It was a day before Christmas Eve and I was just walking home from work, tired. While I was passing through all the shops and houses that were decorated, I saw a lot of people with their families and friends, laughing and getting ready for the holidays. At that moment, I started to feel something, but I didn't know what it was and while I tried to feel better when I saw all those people together, I actually felt even worse. When I finally arrived home, I went to take a shower, thinking it would help me forget it and feel better but then, I suddenly blacked out. When I woke up and realised what had happened, I thought it was normal and that it had just happened because I was tired.

 

As the holidays came, I was alone and I didn't know what to do, so I decided to go to the Christmas market to see the shops and decorations. At the very moment I saw all the people who were shopping, I started to feel that feeling again. I felt alone and started to shake a bit. I then went quickly to a cafe to get a drink and go to the bathroom to calm down but as I started hearing silence, I teared up and hid in a toilet. When I locked the door, I felt like I was falling apart slowly and had a mental breakdown. I was shivering while trying not to make a loud noise so nobody would hear me. I blacked out again. I was woken up by someone yelling at me to check if I was okay. They were pale with fear. I didn't know what to say, so I said that I was fine and just a bit tired. They didn't seem to believe me so I told them I was going home. I realised that the person was a waitress, as she was wearing a name tag. Her name was Alex so I thanked her for everything and left her 40 pounds for helping me but she wouldn't let me leave by myself, so she called me a taxi.

 

When the taxi arrived, I thanked Alex again and got inside. Everything seemed to be normal until halfway through the ride, when I started feeling dizzy again and began to feel a bit worried. I asked the driver to go to a nearby hospital. When we arrived, I went to pay him but he said that the Alex had already paid him. It seemed that they knew each other and that confused me a bit, but I forgot it and thanked him. When I went inside the hospital, I sat an a bench, waiting for the doctor. It had a TV and it was showing Christmas news from all over the world. Everyone was happy but I still wasn't. The doctor came to me and started asking me questions about what I was feeling and after some tests, he seemed worried. I had some more tests because the doctor wanted to make sure he was correct about what I had. I had stage 4 cancer. I didn't know what to do or say, so I thanked him and returned home, calling my mother and father to tell them my news. They were shocked; they couldn't say anything and hung up. It was late and I went to sleep while crying.